Miss Memory Lane

March 7, 2022
Pairing vulnerability with unflinching prose, actor Haynes debuts with a deeply affecting look at his path to self-acceptance. Though the author adored his mother, their relationship was splintered due to her struggles with addiction throughout his adolescence in the 1990s. Desperate to feel “wanted,” Haynes sought out attention, often receiving it in warped ways, including in the sexual abuse he endured as a boy at the hands of his uncle. Tirelessly pursuing his dream to become an actor, Haynes weathered comments in early casting calls that he was “too gay to play the lead” before landing a role on MTV’s Teen Wolf in 2010. But, as he rawly depicts, the pressure to hide his sexuality ravaged his mental health, leading to an Adderall addiction that resulted in “three secret trips to the emergency room” during the show’s first season. After walking away from his starring role on CW’s Arrow in 2015, Haynes publicly came out, and later got sober, following a divorce and harrowing struggle with alcoholism. While his dark road to recovery isn’t for the fainthearted, Haynes’s narrative strikes a redemptive tone: “For the first time I can remember, I’m present, and my emotions feel like a gift, a celebration, a reward.” Fans will be left breathless by the grit and courage on display.

Starred review from April 30, 2022

The brutally honest memoir of actor Haynes, who rose to spectacular fame over the last decade on TV's Teen Wolf and Arrow. He came from a childhood that can only be described as horrific, with self-absorbed, neglectful, abusive parents, and sexual abuse by a local police officer. The memoir links these experiences to Haynes's battles with anxiety and addiction, and he was a deeply broken man by the time he entered his late twenties, until the right people got him back on track. Haynes's book recounts these low points and his work toward sobriety, but it's also a story of coming into himself, personally and professionally. He came out as gay as a 14-year-old and was sexually precocious; his memoir is full of his early explorations. The extraordinarily good-looking, sought-after teen began a successful fashion modeling career at only 15, which soon led to small roles in film and TV--and eventually his star-making turns on MTV and the CW. Haynes's moving, open-hearted, courageous memoir is a complex story of familial losses and the loss of innocence, but it is nevertheless written with great simplicity. Readers will find it hard to resist. VERDICT Recommended for readers seeking narratives of recovery in the morass of Hollywood.--David Azzolina

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